What were his intentions? Did he communicate? Did they pay attention to details? Are you reading this?!
Call it misunderstanding, miscommunication, or misconceptions, but sincerely, have you ever communicated in a way you felt people should understand you, and they did not?
According to the English language, when one is not correctly understood or when one’s communication is interpreted wrongly, then we can say there has been some form of miscommunication.
This brings me to my next question: What is communication? How do we communicate? Are there forms of communication we barely or critically pay attention to?
If only she knew I had feelings for her. If only she could read my mind. If only she could see my actions. Being by her side all these years, and she got married to another man.Wasn’t I good enough for her? Did she just have me around for her benefit? Did she use me?
I asked myself all these questions three years ago when a girl I liked got married. We had been close friends for years before she got married. She was a friend I made during my last years at the university. We studied together and were seen together most often on campus.
Our bond was so strong that coursemates called us “Mr. and Mrs.” I was so into her that the little things she did with other guys made me jealous. I never asked her out in school because I didn’t want us to lose focus on our studies.
Fast forward, we both graduated with first-class honours, and we proceeded to do our National Service at the same company, Ghana Revenue Authority. Our bond grew much stronger as we were always in each other’s space. I would drop her off at work and pick her up all the time.
We were practically “dating” because we did everything couples would do except intimacy. We went on fun trips together, had dinner dates, went to the cinema, and more. I got introduced to her family as a very special friend, and I felt like we were in love.
A year and a half after our service, she got a job at a reputable law firm, and I got employed at Ghana Commercial Bank as a Branch Manager. We were still in touch and continued going on dates. Now, I was sure I wanted her as my partner and was ready to get married. So, one evening, I decided to ask her out on a dinner date.
I bought a beautiful promise ring and had many surprises planned. After an hour on our date, I popped the question, “Kate, will you marry me?” She got furious and left me on my knees on our date. What did I do wrong? Did I say something wrong? I followed her, but she left the venue.
I called her, but she didn’t answer. I visited her the next day, and she told me, “I’m disappointed in you. I saw you as a brother. Why did you do this?” I felt like a fool. It was then she told me she was getting married the next month and was going to tell me over dinner. I felt broken. I apologized and left her house. I went home and had to drink myself to sleep. So, I asked myself, “Should I have communicated my feelings to her earlier?” “Why did it take me so long to say ‘I love you’ to someone I like?”
After years of battling a broken heart, I finally said to myself, “IF ONLY I had told Kate I had feelings for her, maybe I would have known I was just a ‘brother’ a long time ago.
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
DR ROSE BOTWE
PRISCILLA ABENA ASANTEWAA